Generations of Mothering

Wow! Today my oldest child turns 40! We are having a big bash for her tomorrow. I feel pretty ready for the party, so why am I feeling so sad today?

I think it’s because it’s the first big occasion since Mom passed away. I am awash in memories of the day Martha was born, and how Mom and Dad came to see her the next day. I am remembering how when Martha was three months of age, the day we found out Martha’s Dad had cancer, Mom was on the next train to come to be with me in my fear and overwhelm. I remember how when my marriage came to an end many years later, of all the people in my life, she was the one most loyal, even though she didn’t really understand what was happening. In other words, she was a wonderful Mom in terms of being there, silently supporting me, during the most challenging times of my life.

She was also the one who created many of the celebrations in honour of Martha. In the last couple of years we brought the party to Mom, but she was always there, offering Martha a great gift, and loving and enjoying Martha, her eldest granddaughter.

I miss you today Mom, and it will be weird not having you at Martha’s party tomorrow. Thanks for being such a great Mom in the areas of loyalty and party making! It’s been a beautiful morning of crying, thinking back on your life, Martha’s life, and my own life of being a Mom to Martha for the past forty years. Overall, my predominant feeling is gratitude. And I pray that I will continue to grow in my understanding of how important an influence you were in my life.

PS In talking with folks this morning about Martha’s day of birth, I was reminded of another very important event that occurred that day. One hour after Martha was born, My Mom was attending her Mom, my Nana’s, funeral. I couldn’t make it, because I went into labour. Mom said she didn’t know what or how to feel- her beloved Mom’s life was being celebrated, and her new granddaughter was being born 3 hours away. What a thing it is to be a Mother, to be closely connected and to love all the generations, as they enter and exit our world. The cycle of life continues…