Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone! I hope your day is filled with sweet surprises!

My Mom loved special occasions. When I was young, Valentine’s Day was a wonderful day because we kids could count on a special dinner, complete with a chocolate cake and some treats for each of us. On St Patrick’s Day, we would have a white cake with green vanilla icing. Easter brought a white cake covered with coconut and pastel coloured jelly beans. Mom got her love of special occasions from her Mom, my Nana. Nana loved making each grandchild feel special on their birthday by cooking a special dinner, complete with chocolate cake.

And so, in the tradition of Nana and Mom, I am getting out my heart shaped pans and preparing to make a chocolate cake to serve at dinner here tonight. I am thinking of Mom, on this first special occasion since she died, celebrating her, and feeling a lot of gratitude for the many things that she taught me.

And I feel like I am turning a corner in my grieving process. So far, it’s been all tears and deep sadness. But today, remembering Mom and our many Valentine’s Days together, a big smile is shining through my tears. And since I love to bake, I am looking forward to the day ahead!

Sending Valentine’s Day wishes to all of you!

Sue

Good morning to all of you. Here, we are enjoying a sunny morning and I hope it’s the same for you where you are.

All week, I have been trying to remember when I last felt the way I do right now. It’s been hard to describe what I am experiencing, even to myself! Finally, I made the connection. I feel like I did during the weeks immediately following the birth of my first child. My world had been changed in a way that was irrevocable. I had a new human being depending on me for her survival. Suddenly, my primary identity had changed. I had joined the ranks of all the women in history who had become a mother to someone. I felt shaky and vulnerable. Nothing I had read or heard truly prepared me for that transition. In a way I felt like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon, with wet wings, eyes blinded by the light, feeling overcome by the sights and sounds of the new world around me.

For me, losing my own mother has been a little like that. It’s a whole new world. My identity has changed. I am no longer a daughter. I am now an elder; there is no getting away from that reality now! In the light of that, I am needing a lot of rest, sort of like a newborn baby does, or a new mother. I am moving very slowly back into the everyday world, not feeling like I have a lot to give yet, as I adjust to my new reality. It’s a huge transition. I am going to try to give myself all the time I need to write, rest, walk and sleep.

I read a good quote this morning that was really comforting: “ Don’t try to calm the storm. The storm will pass. Focus on calming yourself.” Yes! I will do just that, trusting that just as when I became a new mother, I will, in time, adjust to this new reality, this new stage of my life. Time to be nice and gentle with myself, taking it slow and easy!

I had the amazing experience of attending the celebration of life gathering for my Mom this past Sunday. I didn’t know what to expect. Who would come? What would they say to me? How would I find the strength to say anything in return to them? Despite my concerns, I found out that celebrations of life can be wonderful.

To my surprise, many people from my childhood in my home town came to see me, to offer their condolences and to share memories of both my Mom and my Dad. My kindergarten teacher was there, as well as my tennis coach and a relative of my mixed doubles golf partner. I was transported back to a distant, but fondly remembered, time of my life. I was also so comforted that many friends from my present day adult life made the journey to be there to support me. My niece and nephew did a wonderful job of speaking about Mom’s life. A grandson in law sang It’s a Wonderful World, one of Mom’s favourite songs, beautifully.

The afternoon was a comfort and a blessing. I just counted up how many people I spoke to in two hours and it was 65 people! No wonder I was hoarse afterward!

I realized again how important ritual and ceremony, symbolism, and music are at times like this. And now, it’s time to begin to process- my life, my Mom’s life, the relationship between us, what she taught me, what I taught her, and what I want to take with me of Mom’s impact and lessons into the years ahead.

Thank you, God, for giving me an interesting, and always interested, Mom. I am realizing once again how powerful the impact of a Mother’s life truly is.

Wow, its been quite the week since my Mom passed away, with some high highs and some low lows. I am not usually one who is easy to cry, but I have been this week. What I have noticed though is that at my lowest moments, the kindness and generosity of friends has been right there to pick me up. I have received beautiful texts and emails, flower arrangements, notifications of donations to Mom’s favourite causes, and encouraging prayers, Scripture references, and beautiful songs meant to comfort and support me in my grief.

Today has been no exception. I went to M and M’s, a frozen food store, where I would go every Tuesday to pick up some frozen entrees for my Mom. Mom loved to try everything new that came out in the catelogue! Today, I was just shopping for my household and the order was much smaller. The unsuspecting store clerk asked, “Where’s your Mom’s order?” I promptly burst into tears! Oh man!

I made a rapid escape from the store and went home, instead of continuing the rest of my planned shopping trip. When I got there, there was a mysterious package by my front door. I hadn’t ordered anything from Amazon. What could it be? I went inside and opened the package. It was from a friend in Boston. It turned out to be some baked goods from a fancy store in Toronto. My friend knows I love chocolate so I wasn’t surprised to find that he had sent some beautiful specialty brownies and chocolate cookies. As I got a hug from my partner, and we sat down with coffee in hand to enjoy some of these treats, suddenly all was well again in my world.

Yay for the mysterious timing and the kindness of friends! Hallelujah!

Wow, what a tumultuous start to 2024 it has been. Early in January, my 92 year old mother became ill and had to be hospitalized. Then on Thursday January 25, she passed away peacefully. Although I was a family physician for 40 years and attended many patients in hospital and in the palliative care unit, I found out that nothing can prepare you for the death of your own mother. There were many beautiful moments sitting at the bedside, holding her hand for hours on end while she slept. What a blessing it was to be able to do that, to have that time to contemplate my life, her life, and our lives as part of the Gleeson family.

I turned 69 on January 17 and I knew that entering into my 70th year of life on this planet would provide an opportunity to think and reflect deeply on the years that have passed, as well as on the years ahead that may remain to me.

Now, it will also be a year of reflection on my mother’s life- what she gave to me, what I gave to her, and what the lessons and learnings have been that I would like to carry forward into the rest of my life.

I’m now the oldest one in my nuclear family of origin. What does that mean for me, and for the rest of my family, if anything? I am looking forward to the rest of 2024 and to the reflecting and writing and walking I will do as I sort through it all.

Hoping that your 2024 has gotten off to a good start, an interesting start, and a fulfilling start for you.

Love, Sue

Hello there everyone! Wow, we have made it to another December 31! How has your year been? Full of challenge after challenge, characterized by peace and stability, or somewhere in between?

I was searching for a new daily devotional guide for 2024, and came upon one that caught my eye. It was written by Donna K Maltese and is entitled Worry Less, Pray More. For me, that sounded like a excellent theme for the coming year!

One of the first readings seemed to be a good one for a New Year’s Eve Day. Donna quotes Warren Wiersbe, who wrote, “ We’re prone to want God to change our circumstances, but He wants to change our character. We think peace comes from the outside in, but it comes from the inside out.”

Donna then says, “No matter what your circumstances, don’t let your fears and anxieties get the best of you. Keep your faith and your peace.” The Scripture passage for today was the one where three men were thrown into a fiery furnace because they refused to worship idols. They were unharmed by the fire and when the King looked down into the furnace, a fourth being was in there with them. This caused the King to remove the men from the fire and require his nation to worship the same God that the three men served. Donna comments that although there may be situations where we have to walk through fire, we can count on God to be by our side as we do so. What a hopeful reminder!

Happy New Year!

Love, Sue

Have you ever had a year in which something happened which felt like the worst thing imaginable, followed by something which felt like the best thing ever?

I had a year like that in 1984. I was expecting my first child. My due date was March 8. My sister was due on February 4. These would be my beloved Nana’s first two great grandchildren. I couldn’t have been more excited. As my due date approached and my anticipation was building, disaster struck. My Nana died, suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack, on March 6th. Her funeral was set for March 8th and I was determined to go, even though the funeral was to be held a 3 hour drive away. We were all set to leave, when a show stopper happened. My water broke, so instead of driving to the funeral, we drove to the hospital. A few hours later, Martha was born! To say my feelings were mixed would be an understatement of huge proportions.

This year, 2023, was kind of like that for me. I lost a dear friend, suddenly and unexpectedly, to a heart attack which occurred on Father’s Day. His family and friends were devastated. But then, in the fall, I self published and released my fifth book, Fully Connected. I wrote to you about the experience of ‘giving birth’ to this new baby. The worst of times, then the best of times. These types of years are such an emotional roller coaster.

I bring this up to remind you of a resource I first blogged about on January 1, 2023. It’s called the Year Compass. It is a free resource available for you to download at www.yearcompass.com. I was looking for a way to process the events of this year, and I remembered how interesting and inspirational it was to move through the Year Compass procedure last year. I decided to do it early this year, and again, I found it be a meaningful and helpful experience. It’s a great process to help us review one year, then plan for the next one, perhaps especially when it’s been a very up and down year in your life. I highly recommend it!

Hello to everyone! I hope your preparations for Christmas are going well. In the past few years, I have been following Hannah Braime’s Advent calendar of journaling prompts. I find this to be really satisfying and fulfilling. December 1-12, she offers journaling prompts that help us to evaluate the year that has just passed. On December 13 she invites us to write a haiku that represents the last 12 months for us. Again this year, I found that one arose very easily for me. This year, I want to share it with you:

A precious friend died.

I wrestled an old gremlin.

My new book was born!

I was surprised at how a whole year could be summarized in 3 lines- one of 5 syllables, the second of 7 syllables, and the third of 5 syllables. If you feel so inclined, I invite you to enter into the same process with me and see what arises for you!

Hello again,

An eagle-eyed reader caught an error in my June 10th blog entry which was entitled A Lovely Mindfulness Resource.

The website I mentioned was written incorrectly. It should be www.juneandlucy.com

Also the full title of the Mindfulness journal I referenced was Going from Mind Full to Mindful. To locate this mindfulness journal on Amazon.ca you have to enter the whole name, along with the words ‘June and Lucy’.

Thank you Lori for noticing these errors and for taking the time to bring them to my attention.

I am still using this mindfulness journal and really appreciating its layout!

All the best to everyone,

Sue

Hello there all you lovely folks!

I have been away from writing this blog for a long time again, but for a good reason! I spent the summer and fall writing very diligently, and then editing, my new book, Fully Connected: How to Live With More Contentment and Freedom. Sheri and I self-published the book on October 21,2023! It is now up and available on Amazon!

I ordered some author’s copies, and they arrived yesterday. I went to pick them up at the post office and as I walked away, bearing a large box of books, with a huge, joyful smile on my face, an elderly gentleman stopped me and said, “Wow! You look as though it is already Christmas morning.” And for me, it truly was!

There is no feeling as sweet as to hold for the first time a book I have lovingly written. For me, it feels pretty much the same as I felt when each of my daughters were born. In the case of writing a book, or growing a baby, for months I worked hard to provide what was needed for the growth and development of the healthiest book/baby I could. Then there was the labour and delivery part- in the case of a book, submitting to weeks of painstaking editing until I was as sure as I could be that the punctuation was correct and the typos were minimal. (There is always one I missed!)

As I stood at the post office and looked at my new book I felt tremendous pride in myself, for sticking with the process and for doing the absolute best I could to write a book which I hope will be helpful to many.

I wanted to let you all know of this happy moment in my life!

All the best to each of you as we enter the cold, dark time of the year. Advent is coming! May you winter well, and I look forward to sharing with you again soon.